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You sir, are an asshole

Dear Puffin

Today I have two contenders for the asshole trophy. First there is John Joe Thomas of Philadelphia, about whom this headline was written. Police: Killer invoked Old Testament in ‘stoning’ death. Not the sort of headline you expect to see in America in 2011. And, unsurprisingly, it hasn’t been covered by any major news network. I would never have found it if I didn’t regularly read Russ’s Filtered News, which does a good job of catching some of the stories that the media doesn’t see fit to cover.

From the Philadelphia Enquirer:

John Joe Thomas, 28, of the first block of Sunshine Road in Upper Darby, allegedly told police he killed Murray Joseph Seidman, 70, because the older man had made sexual advances and that the Old Testament spelled out stoning as the punishment for homosexuality.

An American citizen was stoned to death because of his sexual orientation. In America. In this century.

The second contender was connected to this story by New Civil Rights, and again, it’s fairly shocking that I have seen no comment on it. And it’s especially troubling because the culprit is someone I would hope to have a lot of respect for. But apparently Rev Keith Ratliff Sr, president of the Iowa-Nebraska chapter of the NAACP, has been shooting his mouth off in a profoundly offensive way. The Des Moines Register reports the following asinine statements from the not-so-reverend at an anti gay marriage rally on March 17:

He complained that supporters of gay rights have “hijacked” the civil rights debate and have wrongly contended the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., would have supported gay marriage. But Dr. King, he added, was a “Bible-believing Baptist preacher” who would have supported traditional marriage, he said.

“There is no parallel” between gay rights activism and the civil rights movement of the 1960s, Ratliff said. “That is an insult to the civil rights movement.”

Ratliff added , “Deviant behavior is not the same as being denied your right to vote.”

Video of the speech:

Never mind that Bayard Rustin was publicly gay (in the 60s, no less). And never mind that the mission statement of the NAACP is “is to ensure the political, educational, social, and economic equality of rights of all persons and to eliminate race-based discrimination.” (emphasis mine). Now I’m certainly not saying that gay rights are or should be a primary (or even major) concern for the NAACP. In fact its quite appropriate and healthy for them to intentionally limit their objectives to issues of race, and allow independent groups to evolve to fight for other causes. But the idea that a chapter president of the NAACP could publicly refer to homosexuality as “deviant behavior” is mind blowing.

You can sign a petition here.

So folks, who wins the mug today?

Anything is true coming from a man with a monocle

Monocled Binder is very interested in what I'm about to say

MacGuffin,

What a wonderful day it is for absurd logic! My inner Dadaist is practically screaming for joy.

In Texas anything is possible, and we’ll be damned if anyone’s going to tell us otherwise. That anything being God creating the universe. A proposed bill in the Texas senate would make it illegal to discriminate based on research pertaining to intelligent design.
How do you make money? By giving stuff away, of course! At least that’s what Paramount Pictures is hoping with its release of Tunnel. While I think the gesture is grand, I think it might perhaps be more fiscally responsible to release the movie through Netflix, Hulu, or another paid portal. It seems like this is simply putting a tip jar out at the movie theater and hoping to recoup the losses.

How else can you make money? By lying! Fox News does it every day. At least that’s the only logic I can use to understand this guy who told the truth on his blog and has now been fined $60k in damages.

I've never felt quite so bad for the word Author as I do right  now.

 

 

Turning to health.  What’s good for you? Radiation, of course. Thank Anne Coulter for her brilliant research into nuclear medicine.  Radiation she said, “actually reduced the risk of cancer.” Of course it does, dead people rarely get cancer!

 

 

 

Looking at this now, I think I must find some things to cheer me up. Let me find something.

I don't think I could ever eat this cake.

Two of my favorite things, Batman and cake. Courtesy of CakeCentral

 

Well, that’s enough for now. I am off to the opera.

Yours,
Puffin

Dear Puffin

Captain Jack is skeptical

Rep King (R-Iowa) is today’s contender for asshole of the day. (Incidentally this is not the Rep King who had the brilliant idea to hold hearings on radical Islam. Paging Joe McCarthy, anyone? The United States Congress currently boasts two separate assholes named King. Round of applause, everyone.)

Rep King-from-Iowa has teamed up with co-asshole Jim Inhofe (R-Oklahoma) to introduce the English Language Unity Act of 2011, requiring that all US government functions be conducted in English.

“A common language is the most powerful unifying force known throughout history,” King said in a release. “We need to encourage assimilation of all legal immigrants in each generation”

So I guess multiculturalism is gone, and we are now the Borg. Well done. Russ, of Filtered News, makes an excellent point.

If we’re going to go “English only” we’re not going to have much left to say. English gets at least half of its common words from non-Anglo-Saxon stock, and I don’t want to give up half my vocabulary.

I second his point. My favorite English etymology is buccaneer, which derives from the word barbecuer (you totally knew they were related and if you didn’t then you don’t know enough about pirates). Buccaneer is a bastardization of the French word boucanier, which refers to a person on the islands of Hispaniola and Tortuga who hunted oxen and boars and smoked the meat in a barbecue frame known in French as a boucain. People who barbecue meat in a boucain are boucainiers. The original barbecuers/boucaniers seem to have subsequently adopted a more remunerative way of life (piracy) which accounts for the new meaning given to the word. So buccaneers were once barbecue pit masters who turned to piracy. This explains so much about both. (From the AHD, the best source for fun word derivations other than the OED)

Captain Jack is not amused

 

So if we throw out all “non-English” words we lose both barbecue and buccaneers. I’m not sure I’m willing to sacrifice them. This man threatens the two core pillars of MacGuffinhood- ribs and piracy. He must be stopped. Life without BBQ or piracy is simply not worth living.

Yours, in an Anglo-Saxon huff

MacGuffin

 

Update: rep King-from-Iowa may not be the radical Islam guy but he is the guy who thinks that NOAA funding for the tsunami warning system should be cut because we “over react” to natural disasters.

“The tsunami warning centers… I would ask people to come forward with the facts on this — how badly do we need them and do the tragic events in Japan give us a different perspective. I would look at it from a different perspective. I don’t know I would at this point know say that I’d be willing to make that change. I think we often over-react to emergencies, especially natural disasters, before we assess the limit of the damage.”

Of course, King is just following in the footsteps of Ron Paul who thinks that our reaction is “overblown” and Bill O’Reilly who said that “worldwide media is hyping the nuke situation in Japan a bit too much.” Well Bill, when you have a nuclear reactor potentially melting down 20 miles from your house, and leaking radiation all over the tiny area of arable land on which most of your food is grown, then I’ll give one single solitary shit what you think. Via ThinkProgress. Oh and you know what Rep King? If there was any justice in the world you would have forfeited your right to any federal relief for Iowa’s annual spring floods.

Dear Puffin

You raise a good point about the tastelessness of ads placed without consideration of context. I myself have been griping about this issue at length, to you among others.

This morning, for example, CNN.com’s adsense system had a floating March Madness banner over the coverage of the melting reactor and a truly heartbreaking story about a Japanese first responder who has only just returned from his duties to find that his entire family is GONE. But don’t be too sad, we can still watch March Madness LIVE on NCAA on Demand!!!!! Now I’m entirely aware that the ad-sense system is automated and no one made a decision to float that discordantly cheerful ad over such tragic stories. Perhaps, however, this is a glitch that should be addressed. This is merely frustrating and off-key:

But I have seen much much worse. So far the worst I have seen was when I was trying to watch footage of the recent conflict in Egypt. While trying to access a live feed of Tahrir Square, where people were literally being shot before my eyes, I was forced to sit through a 60 second commercial for adult pink footie pajamas. Of course, I can’t find that ad anywhere, but rest assured, it was…. not good. It was pretty similar to this:

Now Puffin, you are well aware of my stance on footie pajamas. I think they are the greatest thing since sliced bread and I own more pairs than I care to admit. But this was…..not the right thing. In fact I think I have whiplash. One minute Im watching pink dancing ladies clutching their teddy bears and the next Im watching the secret police goons mowing down protesters. Again, it’s an automated system and it’s not really anyone’s fault. It just kind of sucks and it would be great if it didn’t happen.

Someone should find a way to tweak the system.
All my love

MacGuffin

This article has some incredible stuff going on. Representative Peter King wants to assuage us of the fear that inquiries into radical Islam will unfairly target the good Muslims in America.

It’s is not the blatant fear-mongering by King, but his own hypocrisy which makes this such an incredible article.  Congressman King on the IRA:

King declared, “If civilians are killed in an attack on a military installation, it is certainly regrettable, but I will not morally blame the IRA for it.”

We’ll ignore the question of if Al Qaida has any legitimate cause. And, frankly, I don’t care if he backtracks on this position. This position remains:

King told The Associated Press in an interview Tuesday that the IRA and al-Qaida are very different and that the IRA never attacked America.

This is the heart of what’s wrong with much of America today – particularly the GOP and Tea Party. Things only matter when they happen to us. The overwhelming impression I get from these groups is that if you’re not able to defend your own rights (and property) you’re not really entitled to it.

To add salt to these wounds, he employs a really outrageous tactic:

The congressman said the hearings are aimed at protecting Muslims from being pressured to commit terrorist acts.

So, let me get this straight. We’re taking care of Muslims by shielding them from the dangerous element in their midst. They’re unable or unwilling to do so themselves? At best they’re victims, at worst, they’re complicit in the actions of those who would harm us.

But, to what extent is King really interested in protecting us?

“It might be politically correct, but it makes no sense to talk about other types of extremism, when the main threat to the United States today is talking about al Qaida,”

I’m sure that the families of victims of Jared Loughner can take some comfort in that. This is a witch hunt, pure and simple. And I can only hope King is voted out of office after more reasonable heads keep this from happening in the beginning.

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