You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘humor’ tag.
Dear Puffin,
I recently received a coded communique from an agent we had presumed dead. Turns out that Slutbunwalla is alive and well, but lost her login info for the Poor Taste Museum because she is an absentminded moron. So the Poor Taste Museum has moved in with us, for the time being, and will be updating here on MacGuffin and Puffin. Maybe. If I don’t fall off the face of the earth again. Because apparently running two separate intuitive and almost completely automated blogs was too freaking difficult for me to manage. Rolls eyes at self. Anyhoo, take a look at this:
It’s something called the Daddle by Cashel and you can buy it on Amazon for $31.99. You know, if you need an actual SADDLE to ride your daddy with….? Jesus Christ we are going to get so much spam. Because a google image search for ‘daddle’ turns up stuff like this and I’m too scared to actually type ‘daddy saddle’ into google. What will Google think of me??? This is the kind of thing I worry about Puffin. I’m sure Google is judging me. I’m sure of it.
But the Amazon reviews are so awesome!
Please note that this Daddle is Western Style and will not be appropriate for those trained in the English Father Riding Method whereby one holds a rein in each hand and posts the trot. If you are looking forward to father jumping, father fox hunting, father polo or daddy dressage you will not be able to use this Daddle. Western Daddle riders hold the reins with one hand, and sit the trot. The pommel or horn on this Daddle is meant to hold a lariat which is useful when roping cattle or other competing or unruly fathers. ✭✭✭✫✫
I loved the idea of this product at first, but after ordering, I began to have buyers’ remorse. After a few weeks of trying to use the Daddle, I’m afraid that I have still not had success and I think it was a waste of money. No amount of duct tape would keep the cat attached to the saddle while it was on my husband’s back. The instruction manual was no help. To top it off, our neighbors were very upset that the duct tape had left a residue on their cat’s fur, but I couldn’t figure out any other way to secure the cat to the actual Daddle.
I’m afraid I will not be able to recommend this product to others. ✭✭✭✫✫
This one is my favorite:
At first I thought this product was wonderful, but oh how things change. Don’t be deceived by the joyful picture, this is a hazardous product that should not be sold without severe warning. After a long day of being ridden by my children, I was grazing on some nearby greens when my daughter dropped a dish on the ground. It broke and the noise of it spooked me, causing me to rear back and kick my son in the head. Now he talks with a speech impediment and has a wonky eye. I haven’t taken the Daddle off in 3 weeks because I can’t face the reality of what I’ve done. My wife won’t speak to me, I have badly infected rug burn on both of my knees, and I’m malnourished from eating nothing but carrots, although my eye sight has never been better. Damn you Daddle, you’ve ruined my life!!!! ✭✫✫✫✫
Goodnight Puffin. I’m not really sure I’ll be able to sleep.
MacGuffin
Dear Puffin,
It is definitely fall. I know this because it is about 40˚F, raining like hell, and I slipped on a pile of slimy, cold, and above all wet leaves. People talk a lot about how much they love fall. I don’t. I fucking hate fall. I think I see things differently than they do, and I can’t tell if it’s because I’m turning into a crank or because I’m growing up.
Yeah, pretty sure I’m a crank.
Happy birthday Puffin
Love
MacGuffin
Dear Puffin,
I’m taking a rest from hardcore political blogging to return to my poster art roots. Today I’ve rounded up some great sci fi propaganda posters, much like the ones I wrote about here and here and here and here.
First we have Princess Leia/Rosie the Riveter, by Tom Sullivan.
We’ve also got an excellent Halo victory poster by The Fearsome Blooming Skull.
There’s a whole series of Battlestar Galactica posters from Thinkgeek.
These posters from Kick-Ass are excellent, although I can’t really pin down the name of the artist. Possibly someone named Ignition Print?
Aaron Wood has also done a great series of social networking propaganda posters, which I like even better than the last batch I posted. You can guy them from his Etsy store.
And with that, Puffin, I leave you. Remember, loose lips sink ships!
Love
MacGuffin
Dear Puffin,
The Arrested Development movie has been in the works for ages and ages (and ages), and much like Dance of Dragons, I won’t really believe it’s happening until I’m actually sitting in a movie theater watching the credits roll. But there have been some interesting rumors flying around, like ScreenRant’s highly dubious scoop from an unnamed source who claims to have talked to an unnamed person involved in the movie in an unknown capacity. This person suggests that the plot may run thusly:
Ron Howard is making a movie about the Bluths using an A-List cast. But Dr. Tobias plays himself because nobody wants to play him in the movie. The Bluths decide to make their own movie in contention with Ron Howard’s.
Am I skeptical about the source? Yes. Do I think this would be a great great storyline? HELLS YES! It has a delightfully Tristam Shandy-esque intricacy of plot and the opportunity for more cameos than It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World, which I believe holds the record for most cameos ever. So in honor of this probably bogus development, I’ve put together a roundup of cool Arrested Development stuff. And I shall lead off with something I’ve shown you before Puffin, the Arrested Development version of Clue! Go over to Pleated Jeans to see the game board, the suspects, the murder weapons, etc.
Shirtoid has a bunch of great Arrested Development shirts. Like this one of the Bluth family crest. Or the Blues Brothers mashup. I think that one is an especially good idea. Their #1 hit would of course be a cover of Divinyl’s I Touch Myself reworded as I Blue Myself.
Chase Black did a great Star Wars/Arrested Development mashup poster.
Olly Moss, who I’ve mentioned before, did a silhouette of Gob and Franklin which I think is pretty cute.
Kyle Hilton has done a great series of Arrested Development paper dolls. I do think it’s a little unfair that Tobias gets two sets and Oscar gets ignored. No one loves Oscar. It’s very sad.
Matt De Lanoy has recreated the model home and the staircar in lego form.
And finally, it wouldn’t be a roundup without something from Bill Mudron, the genius behind the art deco Doctor Who posters, the Mucha Amy Pond, and the Madam Vastra slaughtering cybermen print, which I need to purchase for my mother’s birthday. Anyway, this is a Peanuts/Arrested Development mashup. Follow the link for purchase info.
I can’t wait for the movie Puffin. Even if it’s bad, I’ll enjoy it.
Love
MacGuffin
Previous roundups
Alarm Clocks from Heaven and Hell
Art Nouveau Slave Leia, sinful Disney princesses, and more
Variations on a theme: Game of Thrones
Dalek Propaganda Posters and Doctor Who Miscellany
Dear Puffin,
Here on the east coast we’ve had an earthquake and a hurricane. So I thought it might be a good idea to talk about some of the less well known disasters in our nation’s history. Such as The Menacing of the East River Bridge.
Or the Great Pittsburgh Zombie Outbreak.
Or the attack on Boston Harbor by the Beast from the Unknown.
Or the destruction of the Washington Monument.
Although officially known as the Washington Monument since plans for the magnificent obelisk were underway while the first President was still alive, the name is something of a misnomer as the currently standing tower is actually a replica. The first Monument, completed in 1862, was attacked and destroyed soon after by “Potomac Patty,” the local river monster who had been won over to the secessionist side of the Civil War by promises of “fresh fish flesh” from the Confederate Army. As photography was scarce during the war, this is actually a photo of the re-completed Monument with an artist’s likeness of Patty grappling with the tower.
Or, for that matter, the original design of the Statue of Liberty. As we all know, Frédéric Bartholdi first envisioned not a shining beacon of freedom featuring Lady Liberty, but a dire warning depicting Krgyyx threatening the world, as he was wont to do.
All of these edifying prints by Matthew Buchholz can be purchased on Etsy.
These are so going in my foyer.
Love
MacGuffin
Other posts tagged as Art:
Renaissance Celebrity Portraits
Dainty China Dolls of Horror and Gore
Art Nouveau 2: The Ladies of Firefly ad Battlestar Galactica
Doctor Who meets Le Petite Prince
Art Nouveau 1: Slave Leia, sinful Disney princesses and more
Dear Puffin,
To celebrate this weekend’s return of Doctor Who, I have put together another great big Doctor Who roundup. Some people may remember the last one. It was…. pleasing to me. Last time I did a roundup because I could’t watch the episode due to a bad case of Overdue Essay. This time I suspect I won’t be able to watch it due to Hurricane Irene, which is making a concerted effort to nail both my house and my parent’s house, even though they’re about 500 miles away from each other. I spent a large chunk of yesterday dithering over which house to worry about more. But at this stage we’ve done as much as we can, and all we have left to do is wait. And thus was born the giant Doctor Who roundup.
I’m going to lead off with the best thing ever: the Tardis sneaking into travel posters by Andrew Le. These totally qualify as Doctor Who travel posters, something I’ve been wishing for for a long time. It’s silly that people haven’t made Steve Thomas style travel posters for all the wonderful worlds the Doctor visits. Also, with the personality they’ve given the Tardis in the new series this is exactly the kind of thing I can see her sneaking off to do. All those times that the Doctor and Amy are running around some imploding space station and we don’t see the Tardis for three quarters of an hour? You just know she’s gone off and snuck into some family’s holiday snaps.
Next we have some recent episodes done as B-movie posters: The Hungry Earth, Victory of the Daleks and The Lodger, by Stuart Manning. They’re all available for download as desktops at the BBC.
Next is a blown glass Dalek. Because why not. It’s beautiful and made by Charlotte Huges Martin and Tim Boswell. Apparently one of these featured in a Colin Baker era episode Revelation of the Daleks. I admit that I don’t remember that one, but hey, it’s pretty. Although… I thought for one joyous moment that it was a glass pipe. Because I would smoke the hell out of that! Sadly, ceci n’est pas une pipe.
James Hance (the guy behind the Winnie the Pooh/Star Wars mashup, Wookie the Chew) has been making more relentlessly cheerful art. This might actually be the cutest thing ever. And no, I didn’t find a non-watermark version, because you should be buying things from James Hance. There’s also a great list of Doctor Who mashups here.
This is a technical readout of the Type-40 Tardis. One of the reasons I love this fandom is that so many of us find stuff like this interesting. Click to embiggen. I think this was done by Deviantartist Time-Lord-Rassilon. On a related note, you can also read the Doctor Who technical manual.
Alex Freeman has done some different minimal Doctor Who posters, that I think are great. And they’re all available for sale here.
S/he’s also done Amy and Rory.
There is also a Tardis lunchbox! God I hope it’s bigger on the inside. I want an entire Redwall-style feast in there.
I’m also thrilled to report that you can now purchase the incredibly awesome portrait of the Doctor from The Impossible Astronaut. I think this would go nicely over the credenza in your foyer, Puffin. I suggest a heavy gold frame and the strategic placement of a drool bucket for female guests. Thanks Thinkgeek!
This makes me giggle. According to the internal narrative of the show, the earth must be getting pretty crowded. There’s Silurians, the Silence, humanity, the Racnoss and that’s just since the series reboot! There were 25 years of plot before that! Someone else clearly had the same thought, and came up with a handy infographic to explain to the current residents of planet earth. It’s really unclear who came up with this, but the credit may possibly go to Lindsey Cathryn on Tumblr.
NateTheNerd has lived up to his name and done a really neat timeline of the last 6 seasons. Click to embiggen.
Ignitethesky has done a very pretty sketch comparing the 10th and 11th Doctor’s sonic screwdrivers.
Etsy-ist Geekiana made this custom Tardis sweatshirt. *grabby hands*
A Harold Saxon campaign poster by the amazing SBSiceland. Incidentally, the Master would eat the Highlander for breakfast. As far as I’m concerned, the only man in the universe who could out BAMF the Master is Rory, the man who waited. You know why I think Rory could take the Master? Because…..
….did you know that Arthur Darvill has been moonlighting as Mephistopheles in the Globe’s production of Doctor Faustus? Cause he has. I fully expect Moffat to somehow work this into a storyline someday. It’ll turn out that Rory is secretly the White Guardian or something. Or maybe the Black Guardian. That’d be cool. Almost as cool as this shot from the production. Rory the Centurion was already pretty hardcore, but Rory the DEVIL is a BAMF! And apparently it’s a really good production too.
Arthur Darvill creates a Mephistopheles as dark, enigmatic and smooth as a coffee liqueur. There are no clichés in his performance, no pointy tails or pitchforks: just a subtle sense of one who has long communed with darkness and contemplated intensely the face of evil. When he speaks, it is like a needle dipped in lemon juice pricking the tongue. Every sinew is extended and every breath expended to ensnare the soul of Faustus. Via
And in tangentially related news, take a look at Captain Jack. This is the most fabulous combination of garments I have ever seen or could ever imagine. Context: John Barrowman recently earned his PHD from the Scottish Academy of Dramatic Arts, according to the totally reliable guy who told me that on Reddit. Personally I prefer to believe that Barrowman just wears outfits like this while picking up his dry cleaning. I could believe it of him. And you know what? He could carry it off!
And to wrap things up, a truly unexpected mashup. Southpark and Doctor Who? Actually it works just fine. Well played Megaloo. Well played.
Well Puffin, send up some prayers. Irene is pretty much heading right for me with a storm surge that may make my life really exciting. Frankly I don’t care what happens so long as the cable and power last until after tonight’s new episode. Happy new Who, Whovians!
Love
MacGuffin
Read the previous Doctor Who roundup.
(How to read this post: When a number (like these ➊) appears in the text, go to the corresponding number in the key at the foot of the post and follow the directions.)
Dear Puffin,
As I spent a relaxing Saturday morning watching The Penguins of Madagascar and drinking a coffee ➊, I was confronted with a blast from the past ➋. Now, I have long complained that the biggest problem with The Penguins of Madagascar is that they’re shown on Nickelodeon, which means that you pretty much can’t avoid the Saturday morning advertising, which is broadcast directly from the pits of Hell ➌. Every time an ad for iCarly comes on I cower in fear in the corner of the sofa. But that was nothing compared the the truly frightening discovery that Smell-O-Vision has become a sinister reality! Remember Smell-O-Vision, also known as AromaRama, Scent-O-Vision or OdorAma? This shit used to be a joke, something generally accepted to be one of the worst ideas of all time. (Seriously, Time Magazine voted it one of the 100 Worst Ideas of All Time, which is actually impressive in a twisted way.)
So I guess it’s fitting that this terrible idea should be paired with an abysmal movie, such as Spy Kids 4. Which, the infernal broadcast informs me, is in ’4D AromaScope’. First problem: smell is not the 4th dimension. Smell is not a dimension at all. The 1950s have officially returned. Apparently they’ve improved the original idea a bit though. Instead of spraying the theater audience with noxious chemicals pumped in through the air system, you get a scratch and sniff card. So that’s an improvement over major flops like Scent of Mystery, but still not a winner, especially if Alonso Duralde’s experience is typical. “First things first: All eight scratch-and-sniff scents on the “Aroma-Scope” card I was handed at Spy Kids 4D: All the Time in the World smelled like Trix cereal and cardboard.”
Not a smash hit, apparently. But then, why would you want to smell along (what a bizarre phrase to find myself typing!) to a generic action movie like Spy Kids 4? Surely this technology would be better for a movie that involves interesting smells. Obvious choices would be movies about food. Mystic Pizza, Julie and Julia, Chocolat, Big Night. In an action movie I don’t quite see how it would add to the experience. I mean, take The Bourne Identity, a truly great action flick. When Jason’s body is pulled out of the Mediterranean by a fishing ship are you going to try to recreate the scent of a damp, dirty fishing boat on a rainy night?➍ God I hope not. Do you have any idea what that shit smells like? Let me tell you, it does not lend verisimilitude to the cinematic experience. What it adds is a god awful stench. And what about the car chase? Do they plan to pump in the smell of burning tires and an overheating Mini-Cooper engine backed up by the smell of Paris on garbage day?➎ I hope not.
I find the future confusing Puffin. Especially when it looks so much like the past.
MacGuffin
Key
➊ This was fair trade Chocolate roast from Fresh Market. Mix up a cup of dark roast coffee grounds with a 98% cacao Lindt bar and drink it at the dead of night in the bottom of an abandoned coal mine, and you might get close to how utterly inky black my coffee really is.
➋ The musty odor of the past can best be duplicated by finding a stuffy attic or garage and inhaling deeply. Multi dealer antique stores are also a good bet.
➌ Combine 3 parts brimstone and 2 parts sulphur in a cocktail shaker, add 3 frozen condemned souls and shake. Garnish with razor wire. Pour into a large syringe and inject the mixture up your nose. This will both accurately recreate the smell of Hell and also give you a rough idea of how I feel whenever I fail to mute an iCarly or Big Time Rush ad.
➍ 3 days old Galouise smoke, fish, foot fungus, bilge water and sweat. Usually so thick you could cut it with a knife.
➎ I would guess that it smells about like Scranton when there’s a tire fire. A smell I hope never to experience again. Route 81 right next to a burning scrap yard is not a good place to be stuck in traffic in a car without working AC.
Dear Puffin,
I can’t really think of anything clever to say about these figurines by Jessica Harrison, aside from the fact that they are awesome and I want one.
There are a few more figures at Jessica’s site, along with the rest of her work. Her work reminds me so much of Barnaby Barford, who makes fantastically macabre pieces like this:
Finally, you wanna see something really macabre? Try a cuppa from the Hitler teapot. What is this I don’t even…..
OK, in mitigation, this is part of a series called Delft Disasterware by artist Charles Krafft. I’m going to go collapse on my fainting couch until the memory of the Hitler teapot has left me for good.
Love
MacGuffin
Other posts categorized as Art:
Renaissance Celebrity Portraits
Christopher Jonasson’s Photography: A Guessing Game
Created Equal: Mark Laita’s diptych photography
Dalek Propaganda Posters and Doctor Who Miscellany
Dear Puffin,
The Old Spice Guy is BACK and he saved the football season! This has got to be the best ad campaign of all time.
Look at this video:
Now look at this video:
Now look at this video.
The rules of the internet duel apparently include NIGHT VISION TOP HAT!
Round one- Love letters:
I think the 30 sec mark is the funniest thing I have ever seen. Honestly, while I am a card carrying member of team Old Old Spice Guy, I think Fabio won this round.
Round 2- Staring contest:
Watch both of these all the way to the end. Old Old Spice Guy definitely won this round.
Go to the Old Spice Mano a Mano in El Baño channel on Youtube to see more videos.
I can’t in all honestly sign this letter ‘yours’ or ‘love’ as I usually do. The Old Old Spice Guy has stolen my heart Puffin.
Sincerely
MacGuffin
You might also enjoy
Jersey Shore Transcripts Performed in the Style of Oscar Wilde
Renaissance Celebrity Portraits
Trespassing in Time Capsules: The Urban Explorations of Ransom Riggs
As I hope we all know, at the beginning of next season of Parks & Recreation we will discover the identity of Tammy I. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you should get yourself to your nearest TV and start watching the shit out of that show. The first 2 seasons are up on netflix so you have no excuse.) I’m sure we all remember Tammy II.
And I’m sure we all remember the state to which she reduced Ron in season 3.
So we put it to you. Who should play Tammy I?
The usual Imaginary Casting Couch rules apply:
- The space time continuum does not apply- actors can magically go back in time and star as their younger selves. (This rule was established primarily to allow MacGuffin to keep Leonardo DiCaprio around indefinitely.) Similarly, the dead can come back to life, which allows Alec Guinness to star in everything ever.
- The space time continuum may not apply, but accent rules do apply. MacGuffin and Puffin do not endorse Americans attempting British accents. It never works. In certain cases, however, you can simply let the character have an American accent. I truly believe that the uncanny valley of accents is a real thing that exists. An American can do a technically perfect imitation of a British accent, but it can still just be skin crawlingly awful. Take, for example, Peter Dinklage in Game of Thrones, or Robert Downey Jr in Sherlock Holmes.
- We reserve the right to ignore certain facts about an actors career. The fact that Michael Caine was in The Swarm, for example, will not be held against him.
- Certain movies shall not be meddled with: The original Star Wars, The Man Who Would be King, The Godfather pts I and II, anything by Billy Wilder, Casablanca,Firefly, A Fish Called Wanda, and finally and most importantly, Buckaroo Banzai.
- Tim Burton is banned for life.
- Johnny Depp is banned for life.
- Michael Cera is banned from playing Michael Cera for life.
The candidates:
If you vote “other” stick your idea in a comment. I thought I’d allowed for write in candidates in this poll, but I guess I messed it up. Ooops.
