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Dear Puffin
Todays’s asshole uterus of the day comes from the Florida state government where Rep Scott Randolph (D- Orlando) has been reprimanded for using a dirty word on the house floor. The word? Uterus.
House GOP spokeswoman Katie Betta: “The Speaker has been clear about his expectations for conduct on the House for during debate. At one point during the debate, he mentioned to the entire House that members of both parties needed to be mindful of decorum during debate.
“Additionally, the Speaker believes it is important for all Members to be mindful of and respectful to visitors and guests, particularly the young pages and messengers who are seated in the chamber during debates. In the past, if the debate is going to contain language that would be considered inappropriate for children and other guests, the Speaker will make an announcement in advance, asking children and others who may be uncomfortable with the subject matter to leave the floor and gallery.”
Um ………………….what? Yes, as a lady I find it very very disrespectful when people refer to a part of my body by its correct anatomical name. Seriously guys, show some respect for the vajayjay. Rep Randolph’s actual comment was to suggest that his wife should “incorporate her uterus” as the only way protect her reproductive rights. I think he makes a very very good point. On the other hand, I also see the GOP’s perspective in this. I mean, government regulation is the only hope if we are to be saved from the hordes of unregulated uteri that lurk around every street corner. Beware the impending uterus invasion guys. Its just one short step from recreational abortions to weaponized wombs marching the streets of America, terrorizing the populace. Suddenly I see why people are afraid of feminists. Cause that was totally our plan guys, and the only thing stopping us from taking over the world is the brave men and women of the GOP, valiantly trying to regulate us and prevent us from making any trouble. Like, you know, me making my own choices about my uterus. Did you hear me? UTERUS!
This reminds me of a great scene from Boston Legal
All together now, uterus, uterus, uterus, UTERUS! (That is definitely one of those words that becomes stranger the more you say it. Like spatula. Seriously, say spatula to yourself 20 times and see).
Also, as we all know, the Dodge Ram logo is just a stylized uterus. Don’t believe me?
Inappropriate I say, inappropriate! I hereby demand the removal of all such pornographic depictions of lady parts from America’s automobiles!! Never again shall our children (or our congressional pages) be terrorized by the specter of an aggressive sheep-womb charging at them on I-95!!
Be afraid Puffin. Be very afraid.
MacGuffin
